This is a text of a work originally performed at a pop-up exhibition at 222 Chingford Mount Road in 2023, and subsequently at Peckham 24 book fair in 2024.
When it began, you felt like you were on a tilt-a-whirl.
You were flying through space and your body was light and unreal. You loved it when I said ‘nothing’.
The day was bright and frosty. Needles were poking at you, little live jolts, and even though you were cold you felt warm.
My voice was intravenous, melting into your veins like red candles.
You’d been having problems with your throat but after listening to me your throat was soft and fine.
You will definitely be saving this onto your phone.
Blessings from Nottingham
***
You had some trouble at first with the visualisations. Your chest was aching and your heart was shaking. But then I spoke of small spheres of light spinning and pulsing your nerves and blood vessels and you felt OK.
After attending my conference in London, which was quite expensive, this was just perfect.
You did the whole thing, and now you feel so …..interesting.
A new personality living a new personal reality.
It’s like you’re in a trance. It's almost too much. Another one of these and you won't need a husband.
Military, police officers, nurses and paramedics should all hear this.
Ok Obviously the paid one really is best but this free one is a good start.
Greetings to Seattle.
***
I’m an angel.
I am talking directly to you.
My facts are golden.
My clarity and my enunciation are excellent.
And My voice is lovely.
For a while you had vertigo until I said ‘nobody’ and you were so relieved and the vision of yourself so clear that you turned into a ballerina in a pool of stars.
You didn’t listen to what I said about temples, thinking I meant the buildings. But you’re paying more attention to words like: sense, feel and beyond.
At first my words weighed on you. Like a horrible blanket. You became paralysed. It was like a personal error code. But now You've done the shadow work and you are back.
You are Hungarian, and your body and my words seem to go together, so that you just know that I’m going to your legs next.
My voice is in your left ear and the hum of the freezer in your right ear, and it’s wonderful. I am a million particles waiting to happen.
Could I please mention that your new memoirxxxx is available for download on Amazon and Kindle?
Love from Amsterdam.
***
You don’t understand what I mean by ‘energy of space’.
You’re a novice and don’t get ‘space in space’. Is it like a parking space? Or interstellar space? Can somebody please help you understand.
I ask you if you can ‘feel the space your nostrils occupy....in space.’ You say ‘I can feel my nostrils on my face, but not in space’.
You can sense the space under your chin, where there is space, but when I say ‘can you feel the space between your ears in space?’, you don't get this... I hope someone can help you understand.
With respect, the only space you’re feeling right now is the space between my words. By the time I get to the end of what I’m saying…. You’ve. Forgotten. How. The. Sentence. Began.
You got lost in liquid night. Your body fragmented and you no longer want to be supernatural, ever.
Get lost in Space, is all you’re saying.
***
You have a headache and blame yourself.
You remember being told that if you didn’t stop crying, you would be given something to cry about.
You’re always hiding. In the long grass, or at the small end of the table.
Words are crystal shards.
You tell me that you get stumbly blocks, from all the resentment and anger, and don’t accept that someone thinks you need to conform to their lifestyle.
You fall asleep, your head drops and smacks the wall behind you.
You sleep for 15 hours, with tears turning to crust in your eyes until your German Shepherd wakes you up.
In Aberdeen, you don’t like the feeling of your own heart beating or the memories of how your breath can slow to a near-stop, making you cough.
When you close your eyes, you still see images of things burning. Your pupils are huge black balls surrounded by veins like tiny red rivers.
The feeling of the carpet on your knees.
Your husband doesn’t like you watching my videos. He’s hyper vigilant and gets easily annoyed, even when you choose to have noodles on your soup. He says ‘don't bring me down with you’ but he’s bringing you down.
We can heal together, especially on my four day course currently at a discount of 25% with the code M
Blessings to Swansea.
***
Holy Cow. You don’t know what I can possibly mean by ‘find your personal truth’. Do I really think truth can be relative? The more you think about it the more senseless it is.
You won't lie. My video made you want to rip the wings off a butterfly.
You know nobody asked for your opinion, but you’ll say one last thing. It is simply offensive to your senses.
You’d rather sit in a corner and listen to gloomy music.
Or eat the carcass of a dried out animal.
Salutations to Albuquerque.
***
I’ve aged a lot since my earlier videos. And my face is more red.
Time goes by fast. Like the trace of a star zooming across the night.
If only I had a more masculine voice.
And less robotic.
No offence but you would suggest I edit out the distracting noises of when I swallow, clear my throat and breathe.
And take more care not to mix up the colours of the chakras.
Could I please get a better mic?
Or a professional voice-over. For God’s sake.
Remember there were no binaural beats when the Buddha introduced meditation to the world.
Hi to Auckland
***
Take a pause.
Let the body breathe.
Make space for the pain.
***
You are worthy and deserve to be happy.
Coming from a small town, you have dreams. And, naturally, ideas involving revenge, and forgiveness.
Something we all have in common: we feel fire.
And we can all laugh, even when we are nearly dead.
There are clouds in the sky and waves in the sea.
You’ve listened to me. It could have been better but it’s not been bad.
I have more to say, about the bowels and the eyes, but that’s for another video. Or an extended version.
Blessings to the heart.